This was not the first time So-young, who entered the office where no one was present, showed her true feelings and embarrassed Tae-kyung.
However, she was much more nervous at this moment than when she made a secret and bold proposal to Taekyung someday, when she was obsessed with impulsive desires and felt for his body, and when she was driven by unknown jealousy and had sex.
Taekyung answered nothing. So-young asked him, swallowing her thinly scattered breath.
"You're still… Are you worried?"
So-young found this question shameless. Taekyung twisted his lips as if he were trying to be cynical, but such an attempt was not successful. He nodded helplessly like a captured prisoner. His answer was clear and calm.
"I'm worried."
That was enough for So-young to take a step of courage that she had never taken.
Soyoung took a step. Taekyung watched her approaching as if he had lost his will to resist. Each other's eyes were intertwined at a close distance, and So-young breathed out a breath that was narrowly shortened.
"I know I'm being cowardly. Even if it wasn't me, you would have been worried. Taking advantage of this opportunity…… I know I'm shameless to talk to you."
So-young spewed out a rambling rush in a trembling voice. She couldn't think properly with her head. There was only a desire to convey the sincerity that she had swallowed by suppressing it.
Maybe Tae-kyung thinks that So-young's feelings mean nothing anymore. A confession that relied on the courage of the moment could have ended in the wrong way. If her sincerity, which had been delayed for a long time, ended in refusal, she would wander through a pain that was incomparable to the past.
So-young knew about it but didn't want to back down.Taekyung was like that from the beginning. He made the timid and defensive Soyoung reckless. He let her cross the lines and made her end up reaching out for more because of her greed. In the end, she had to show her shameful sincerity that she did not want to admit to herself.
All the impulses and courage So-young has shown so far were possible because Taekyung reached out to her first, held her, and embraced her unconditionally.
So maybe at this last moment, she had to muster up the courage that the end was guaranteed. Only then did she think she wouldn't regret it.
"You know I'm usually brazen and good at ridiculous things. Since you..… I mean, I want to force you to listen to me one last time."
Taekyung stared at Soyoung with strange eyes, but did not push her away. So-young rolled up her fist, which began to sweat due to tension, and continued in a trembling voice.
"As much as it was a mess from the start… I wasn't confident. It might be a momentary feeling for you, so I thought things should be too deep. Even after you confessed to me…… I was afraid that I would eventually be the one who gets hurt if I fall deeply."
“…….”
“I was terrified and shaken by such rumors and couldn’t confirm it. I really fell in love with you, knowing that I could not bear it if it were true.”
“…….”
"At the end of the day, I realized how reckless my determination to focus on the affection of this moment was… I just wanted to run away."
So-young did not take her eyes off Tae Kyung even though she had a red heated face. The tremor of the voice gradually grew, and there was no rambling in the words. Nevertheless, the gaze at her was not even a bit shaken.
"Like that…… I was so afraid that I couldn't think about your position at all. You gave me your sincerity, but wounds are all you're going to get…….”“…….”
"I ruined the relationship and disappointed you…. I know very well that I don't have qualifications. And yet…."
“…….”
"I want to be a team leader…"… I can't even fold it."
“The feeling of greed for you… I can’t put it down.”
So-young choked up and tried to swallow her tears.
She didn't mean to say such self-centered and selfish things. She wanted to convey a proper apology to Taekyung, and asked if he could give her another chance and accept her apology. She really didn't think of talking about nonsense drunk on her emotions.
Even so, she couldn't swallow her emotions once the dam broke. Fear and impatience, anticipation and excitement, regret and self-doubt were mixed, and her mouth moved as if her psychological control system was extinguished.
"I don't know if it's too late now, but I…"
So-young conveyed her last sincerity to Taekyung, who she had hidden.
"I still like you."
“…….”
"A lot."
* * *
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