Chapter 312 Torn  

~ ZEV ~

A snarl tore out of his throat as Zev threw himself back down the cave to the gateway. He didn't let himself think or question, because if he did he was going to launch himself in the opposite direction and go straight for Nick's throat. But he couldn't, he knew. He was already shaky with tiredness, and now…

How had Nick known that he was there? How the fuck had he known?

As he stumbled for the gateway he swore. The only possible explanation was that they'd found a way to mark the bond in Sasha and were monitoring it. But, how? Had she told them about it? Or had they been able to figure it out?

He stepped into the gateway, the cave in Thana fixed in his mind, reminding himself that this was only for a few more days. He wasn't leaving her in Nick's grip forev—

Two steps into the lighted path through the gateway the pain hit him like the claws of a bear, piercing, blazing, tearing.

The fist of pain closed on that piece of Sasha inside him and yanked, tearing her from him in a rush of pain so intense, Zev fell to his knees, howling and clawing at his own chest, instinctively trying to fight off the adversary that he could see or find in his grip.

His entire body jolted like he'd been hit by lightning, until he was left, breathless and trembling on the slick floor of the gateway, groaning.

What the fuck.

What the actual fuck?

The first time she'd gone through it had hurt, but that felt… that felt like his body had been attacked from the inside out.

It took a full minute for him to make it to his feet, and even then his knees trembled.

Sasha. Holy shit, had she just felt that?

He turned, instinctively ready to run back for her, to make sure the bond held again. Even took two steps until he almost reached the entry—but then he froze.

If it hurt like that when it broke, what would it do if he had to leave her again?

His heart pounded in his chest, throbbing, jumping, pattering as if it had been thrown off its rhythm.

Was that happening for Sasha, as well?

Would this kill them?

Zev stood just in front of the exit into the human world, shaking, on the edge. Everything within him yearned to step back through, to make sure she was okay, that the bond would return again. But what then?

Then he'd have to leave again, because apparently Nick could tell when he was in the human world now. And what if that tearing got worse? What then?

Zev dropped his face into his hands and prayed. He couldn't go to her. He knew it. But… fuck. He'd never wanted anything more in his life.

But he knew… he knew…

Clawing both hands through his hair, he forced himself to turn around, forced his mind to focus on the gateway cave into Thana.

Forced himself not to think about what might be happening to Sasha in the human world. Or how long it might be until he felt her arms around him for real.

The light under his feet, the tunnel before him would blaze white, then flicker and fade, then blaze white again as his mind turned around and around, fighting him for dominance.

Zev growled and snarled at himself to focus. "You can't save her if you can't even save yourself," he whispered hoarsely, out loud, so he'd hear the words.

He knew what he had to do.

Clenching his hands to fists, he started back through the gateway to Thana, fixing his mind on that place where he'd first held her in Thana itself. Reminding himself that if he didn't show up soon, Yhet would warn the others that he'd gone.

Reminding himself that Sasha had begged him to give her more time.

All the right reasons, he told himself. He was walking this way for all the right reasons.

Slowly, slowly the tunnel light increased, then became steady.

The crossing seemed to take longer than in the past, but finally he stumbled out into the cave and hurried to its mouth to confirm that, yes, it was still dark. He hadn't been gone too long.

As he stepped out into the snow, Yhet turned from where he'd been standing under a tree at the side of the trail, his face sad.

"You made it," he rumbled, his voice heavy with relief.

Zev nodded, swallowing the pinch in his throat.

Yhet blinked. "Sasha… is she…?"

"She's fine… at least as much as I can know. The bond was still there. And strong. She's healthy and she's still there," he added, aching to lie by omission to his friend, but he couldn't risk anyone finding out. It was bad enough that Lhars knew.

Yhet gripped his shoulder, his fight tight with relief and shared grief. "We'll get her back, Zev," he said, his voice so low it seemed to come from the rock under their feet. "Don't worry, brother. We'll get her."

Zev let himself be pulled into Yhet's massive chest, and clung there for a moment, then he excused himself and started down the trail with little more than a whispered farewell.

He had to get back to the cave. And he needed to be alone with his thoughts. Because it didn't matter how alive Sasha was if she was over there, and he was here. He needed her back, desperately. But he needed to do it the next time he crossed.

The next few days were going to be hell.

Zev shook his head, shifted into his wolf, and started down, through the valley.

When he reached his own cave later, Skhal was still slumped against the wall, his head lolling to his chest. Zev sighed with relief, stripped off his clothes and crawled into the furs.

Only then did he allow himself to think about what it meant that Nick had known he was there.

Whenever the time came for them to go for Sasha, he was going to be running on an extremely tight clock. They would know to look for him… might even set sentries at the gateway, knowing that's how he would come.

Or…

Was it possible they'd already done that? Was that how Nick had known? Had he been watched?

Had they let him come through and not taken him?

Why the hell would they do that?