Chapter 312  

Sir Donau’s words shocked Poliana. She had never thought about her situation this way. She felt a little guilty about using Duke Luzo as an example since he was a happily married man, but she decided to imagine what it would’ve been like.

Let’s say Duke Luzo was still unmarried and fell in love with Poliana. Because he was an obedient man, it was very likely that he would’ve listened to whatever Poliana had to say and follow her wishes. She would’ve insisted on staying in Yapa and continue working as the head of the Second Division, and she was certain that someone like Duke Luzo would’ve chosen to stay in the capital city with her. He would’ve worked for Lucius the First in the Yapa castle.

Things would’ve been similar to other men too. She hated to even imagine such a thing, but if for some reason she married Sir Ainno, she wouldn’t have had to lose so much of what she achieved.

Marrying any man other than Lucius the First would’ve given her the chance to keep what was hers. So why of all men, did it have to be her emperor? Ironically, it was the emperor who gave her everything she desperately wanted to protect. Now, it was that same man who was about to take everything away from her.

“Haha…”

Until now, there hasn’t been anyone Poliana could talk to about her situation. She has been feeling alone and frustrated, but now, she felt a little more relaxed. When Poliana laughed quietly, Sir Donau smiled as well. He loved her smile. It made him feel happy to see her happy.

When Sir Donau smiled widely, his missing canine looked very noticeable. The emperor gave him a fake ivory tooth to wear as a gift, but Sir Donau never used it once after unwrapping the present. He claimed that he would keep it in perfect condition as a family heirloom. Although he would never admit it, the truth was that Donau did not want to look ridiculous with a fake tooth.

Sir Donau said to Poliana, “To be honest, what happened that night is your fault in big part, Sis. I mean, getting drunk with the emperor like that…”

He wasn’t talking about a woman drinking alone with a man. He was referring to a knight drinking so much that she is unable to protect her emperor. Indeed, this could actually be considered a crime.

Poliana laughed in embarrassment while Donau looked at her like a school teacher reprimanding his student. “I am his highness’s knight as well as your brother, Sis. Technically, I’m unable to take anyone’s side. If I’m forced to choose, the right thing for me to do is to side with his highness, but this time… I am going to be on your side, Sis.”

“What?”“Whatever decision you make, I will stand by you. I will support you no matter what, so let’s first get to Yapa. What you find out there isn’t enough to convince you… If you still don’t want to become the empress, then don’t. You should do whatever you think is right. Get married and divorced if necessary. But don’t deny what he is feeling for you. Please don’t run away this time.”

Running away without a plan was a stupid thing to do. Poliana has already done it once and she learned her lesson now. Poliana nodded firmly. Now that she had an ally, she felt stronger. Even though she knew there was nothing Donau could do to help her situation, she was still glad that he was here with her.

***

That night, Poliana remembered the time when she held a sword for the first time. It happened so long ago, yet she could remember it like it was yesterday.

She was beaten badly because she didn’t hold the sword right. She had to move like her life depended on it. She practiced so much that her hands bled. To survive, she learned to kill. She learned to be vicious and merciless. Poliana learned what the boys her age learned rather than the things the girls were supposed to learn.

On the day she killed a man for the first time, Poliana did not cry. Sometimes, Poliana saw old knights who were afraid of the dark. The knights who killed so many people… The darkness reminded them of death, and they shivered in silent fear. Many knights believed that the souls of those murdered by them would eventually find them. These knights waited for the ghosts of their victims to knock on their windows.

Poliana betrayed her homeland, Aehas. She might have killed fewer men than many of the knights her age, but she was one of the most hated figures during the war. She was certain the Aehasian royals probably cursed her, but Poliana wasn’t afraid of the ghosts or the curses.

There was only one thing she was afraid of in this world.

Poliana remembered the first day she held the sword. Not the day she held it for the first time, but the day she held it as a knight who was recognized for the first time.

The day she met the emperor…

It was a freezing day, yet she couldn’t feel the cold at all. At the time, she screamed for a sword to swear her loyalty to the emperor, but no one offered it to her. Finally, it was Lucius the First who gave her his own sword.

The emperor’s sword…And now, his highness was about to take away her sword. However… He was still her emperor.

Remembering the day at the cliff brought back a wonderful feeling to Poliana. Her heartbeat became faster just thinking about it. Swearing her loyalty naked to the emperor was an honor. All the days she spent with the emperor was an honor. Each of them was precious to her. The wonderful memories were enough to make her eyes tear up.

The emperor and the knightess. Everyone, including themselves, believed that their relationship would never change. Poliana was certain of it because she believed that Lucius the First would never see her as a woman. The only situation that would force him to treat her as a woman would be if they were the only two people left in this world and they were burdened with repopulating the kingdom.

Poliana had never forgotten how he said that he would rather sleep with an ugly prostitute than with her.

Lucius the First already apologized for this comment, but Poliana always found comfort in it. She, in fact, was thankful for her lack of beauty. If she was a beauty, the emperor would’ve slept with her on the day they first met and killed her, perhaps. Even if she didn’t die, Poliana believed her life would’ve been worse if she was beautiful.

Lucius the First’s love confession made her feel betrayed rather than happy. Even now, after a few days, she still wasn’t happy about it. However, she wished she reacted better. She was so emotional at the time, and Poliana regretted how she acted in front of the emperor.

Poliana was imperfect and she was a woman, but no matter what, she was a knight. She was Lucius the First’s knight; she betrayed her own country and chose him.

Only

Suddenly, Poliana realized that she didn’t need the emperor’s permission to remain a knight. Even if he refused, she decided that she will remain his knight forever.

“Hahaha.”

Now that she knew what to do, Poliana could see things more clearly. As soon as the sun rose the next day, she went to Sir Donau.

“I am going to Yapa right now. You can stay here and rest before going back home.”

“I’m going with you!”

Sir Donau quickly wrote a letter to his wife, parents, and his in-laws about his delay in returning home. He knew that when he was going to be in trouble with his family, but he could not send Poliana alone to the capital.

The brother and his sister finally set out to Yapa. They, of course, had no idea what awaited them there.