T/N:

So Saki’s  is one of my favourite shoujo web novels – it’s a comedy about a girl who tries to be a noble girl villainess, but fails miserably and only ends up becoming closer friends with the protagonist, much to her ire. It’s as funny as it sounds.

I noticed that Saki had written a number of other stories, so I decided to check them out. I’m planning to translate the first few chapters of the stories with summaries that interest me and I might pick one up permanently if I still like it at the end of the chapters.

This will not affect my Destruction Flag Otome release schedule.

Chapter 1  : Armoured Girl

“As if I’d marry an ugly woman like you!”

Those were the first words he uttered the first time Monette Idira met him face-to-face.

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Those were also the last words she heard from him.

What ugly words. To make things worse, those words were uttered by her fiancé, Alexis Radoll. Monette, still young, was very hurt by his words – and before the wound could heal, the very next day, she despaired when she learned that her younger sister had become his fiancée instead. She began to fear the gaze of others since she didn’t know what part of her was ugly. And fearing their mockery of her ugliness, she stopped appearing in front of others…

And eventually, she decided to wear iron armour from the top of her head to the tip of her toes.

Monette looks up at the sound of the birds chirping.  A blue sky peeks out from behind tree leaves criss-crossing above her. Every so often sunlight brightly shines through the canopy, but Monette just keeps looking upwards without closing or squinting her eyes.

It’s bright enough that it would normally hurt people’s eyes… normally.

“I planned to get back before the sun rose…”

After muttering that she stayed too long, Monette starts walking again.

Enough food supplies to last her a week are in the paper bag she holds with both hands. She bought food that would last for a while, but it’s probably still not sanitary to walk for many hours in sunlight holding the bag. Most importantly, if sunlight hit it for too long, it would begin to hold in heat… and by ‘it’, she meant the armour.

Wanting to get back quickly, Monette speeds up a little. In this quiet forest where the chirping of birds echoes, her iron armour clatters loudly…

She’s covered from head to toe – so naturally, her fingertips are too. She covers her entire body with armour. A long while back she started to be known as the ‘Heavily Armoured Noble Girl’, or just the ‘Armoured Girl’ for short. What an ironic name. But it’s true that given how she hid not only her face, but every inch of her skin, there was no way to describe her but ‘heavily armoured’. It’s also true that she was a noble girl. Though naturally, given that Monette was living alone deep in the forest in the old castle, she didn’t really benefit from her nobility. It’s been a long time since she was a noble’s daughter.

And so that nickname of hers was terribly ironic, but Monette had no interest in correcting the name or in tracking down the person who thought it up and berating them. Her reasoning is probably something like this: They can say what they want, I only talk with people once a week to buy food anyways.

“I’ve got bread, jam, and meat jerky. Maybe next week I’ll bring them some wine to make some more money.”

Reaching the old castle in the forest, Monette spreads out her purchases on a table. As she confirms that she hasn’t forgotten to buy anything, she takes off her helmet. She lets out a rather deep sigh of relief as her navy blue hair is freed.

It’s incredibly tiring for Monette to go shopping in the nearest city district once a week. It takes several hours to reach the district from the old castle – it’s a long journey as it is, but given that she wears a full set of armour, it’s naturally impossible for her not to get tired. To make things worse, once she reaches the district obviously there are people around, and she always breaks out in a cold sweat at the idea that they look down at her even though she’s covered in iron.

She thinks that she hears a young boy saying ‘How ugly,’ but even when she accepts that those words are just an auditory hallucination, she hears people actually saying ‘Armoured Girl’ behind her back. She’s too afraid to verify whether those mocking voices she hears is real or not.

The only thing Monette can do is to take shallow breaths in her helmet and quickly finish up her shopping. Then she runs away to the forest, clanking all the way.

In direct contrast to the city, the only person in this old castle is Monette. Naturally, no one sees her and no one speaks. She even has animal repellant set up.

How relaxing – even if she takes off her helmet and the rest of her armour, no one sees her. It would be so nice if she could live in this old castle for the rest of her life. But in order to live, she needs food. She could make do if all she needed was vegetables, but she can’t make goods like bread and other processed food by herself. In order to buy food like that she needs to go to the city…

“Should I pay them to deliver it here…? But I don’t want people to come here too… Hm?”

Monette goes quiet at the sudden sound of other people’s voices. She sneaks up to the old castle’s entranceway. People are talking on the other side of the door. From their voices, it’s two men… as she was listening closely to verify that, they knock on the door. In a panic, she first puts on the helmet before putting on the rest of the armour that had been left outside. She twirls around in front of a mirror to make sure that no skin is visible.

Either they had followed her in some kind of fascination with the Armoured Girl, or they got lost in the forest and want help.

They’re probably not salespeople – she doubts that anyone would come this far just for that. Maybe she forgot her change when she bought her bread, and a nice clerk came to return – nah, no way. If something like that happened, they’d probably want a tip that was greater than the change she forgot.

As she muses, she cautiously reaches a hand out to the doorknob before slowly unlocking the door…

Her eyes widen at the person standing on the other side.

A young man with dark brown eyes and hair and sharp features. He’s wearing a ratty robe and is putting up his hood in an attempt to hide, but he can’t hide the elegance that seeps through what little that can be seen. The moment Monette sees the young man, a young boy’s words echo clearly in her mind, the memories returning.

As if I’d marry an ugly woman like you!

… and so, she slams the door back closed.

She slams it so hard that the door might’ve warped. So hard that it may have hit the noses of him and his companion…

… she hears a strangled cry, so it’s possible that she actually hit one of them.

Humans are pretty good at bouncing back from things, so Monette returns to normal soon after slamming the door shut. She’s mastered repressing her unconscious mind. But the two on the other side of the door don’t seem to want to go home just because of what she did. They begin to bang on the door, louder than before.

“Monette, it’s you right!? Please open up!”

“I think I’ll have some bread.”

“Lady Monette, please, just lend us a small amount of your time!”

“Perhaps I’ll brew some tea. Oh, I had some new tea leaves – I should try them out.”

“I know that you resent me, but Monette – wolves! Oh no, Percival, wolves!”

“Maybe I should have some pastries first… wolves?”

“Lady Monette! Forget about talking, please just give us shelter!”

They begin screaming in between calling out her name as they bang on the door.

“I suppose my animal repellent wore off,” says Monette, tilting her head to the side.

…Though, since she’s wearing an iron helmet, all that can be observed from the outside is a grinding noise and a slight tremble.

Even as she tilts her head, she reluctantly puts her hand on the doorknob. She really doesn’t want to let them in, but at the same time, she doesn’t want them to be killed and eaten right on her doorstep. She wouldn’t be able to sleep if they were eaten as they screamed and panicked.

And so, with no other choice, she opens the door. The two men run inside in a panic. She slams the door closed so the wolves can’t get in.

It looks like they were really panicked – though, that’s a pretty normal reaction to wolves closing in – so the two of them were breathing shallowly and making sure that they were both alright. They then look up.

That elegant and intelligent face reminds Monette of his young self… though she barely remembers him from back then anymore. Monette lowers her head. Though she’s covered head to toe in armour and living in a forest, she has to lower her head to him.

“It’s been a while, Prince Alexis,” says Monette.

Her iron armour makes a grim grinding sound as her head lowers.