Four years back, when Nana had just given birth to Jun.
A woman stepped into the hospital, clenching a green file in her hands. Her gaze was blank and eyes slightly red and puffy. Her legs were trembling as she walked.
But she strolled as if she didn't want to reach her destination at all. Yet, she had decided to do this.
She heard the hustle and bustle in the hospital, but she felt as if everything was so silent.
She reached where she was supposed to and stopped. She raised her head and looked at the sign.
Department of gynecology.
The woman slowly sat on the bench. A nurse approached her and asked, "Mrs. Han, right?"
She nodded in a daze.
"Please come inside."
The doctor smiled. "Good morning Mrs. Han. Please have a seat."
She seriously asked, "Mrs. Han. I ask you again. Do you really want to do this? Everything is normal in your pregnancy. You will have a healthy child. I will ask you to please think about it once again. Are you sure about your decision?"
She clutched her bag and shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Yes, I am."
"And your husband?"
Her heart thudded in her chest. "He…doesn't need to know. Please…"
The doctor sighed. "Alright. Please be seated. We will call you in a few minutes."
As she was left alone, she lowered her head and softly touched her belly. Her eyes watered once again, and her body was shaking. The time was near when the life in her belly would cease to exist.
I am sorry…I am so sorry. I am such a terrible mother.
I want you, and at the same time, I don't. Your existence makes it difficult for me to forget it.
I…will you please forgive me?
Silence.
"Waaaaaaaaa…waaaaaaaaa!"
Suddenly, she heard a baby's loud cry. It came from the ward beside the doctor's office.
The woman stiffened a bit.
In nine more months, I could have also heard his first cry, but…
She felt as if something tugged her heartstrings like a force was opposing her. She didn't know what took over her, but she slowly got up and stepped outside. She walked upto the ward, where she heard the cry.
"Waaaaaa…waaaaaa…"
The door was slightly ajar, and she saw a woman nursing and cradling her newborn in her arms with the most gentle and warm smile on her lips.
The woman felt as if she was in a trance, witnessing that scene.
"Awww, awww, don't cry, Jun. See? Mama is waving you whoosh-whoosh, haha."
The baby sniffled and soon stopped crying. He began giggling as she twirled him in the air.
"Baaaaa..baaaaaaaa…"
She chuckled. "So, you just wanted to play, huh?"
"Baaaaaaa…"
The woman's eyes teared up. She stood rooted to her spot. The tugging in her heart felt so violent now as if it would shred it into pieces.
"Hello."
Suddenly, she heard a soft voice.
The woman jolted and raised her head. Nana, with Jun in her arms, was smiling at her.
The woman was taken aback. She stammered. "I-I that…I didn't mean to peek…I am sorry…"
"No, no. It's alright. Why don't you come inside?""No. I don't want to intrude upon your privacy…"
Nana chuckled. "I don't mind. You are too nervous. Don't be."
The woman hesitated at first. As she went near Nana, she saw baby Jun raising his head from Nana's chest and staring straight at her.
Her heart shook with his direct gaze boring at her. She clasped her hands together.
"Your baby is adorable."
Nana brightened. "Isn't he?"
The woman nodded. "What is his name?"
"Liu Jun."
The woman blinked her eyes. "Liu…Liu family? Are you Liu Jinhai's wife?"
"Yes, I am. Liu Nana."
"Oh…"
No wonder I felt her so familiar. I had seen her in some banquets before.
So she is Liu Nana…
"Baaaaaa…"
She was brought out of her stupor as she saw Jun flailing his hands towards her.
"Woo. He wants you to hold him. That's surprising. He is usually picky about who he wants to hold him and immediately cries if he doesn't like it."
The woman froze. "How can I…"
Nana laughed. "It's okay. He wants you, so it's fine. Here."
Nana gently placed Jun in her arms. As she felt his small, warm body pressing on her chest, the woman trembled. She looked into his eyes, and he giggled.
The woman laughed as Jun tickled her with his small fingers. Tears plopped from her eyes. She tried to stop them but she couldn't.magic
Will I feel the same way when I hold my baby? Is this what it feels like to become a mother?
"I am sorry for this…" she referred to her crying.
"Don't be. I know how emotional it feels," Nana smiled.
The woman stared at Jun.
"Mrs. Liu?"
"Yes. Oh, and you can call me Nana. Mrs. Liu sounds too formal."
"Nana…How does it feel to be a mother?"
"Hmm. That's a tough question you have asked. There are too many feelings a mother goes through. But if I have to sum it up in one word, then it's fulfilling. The moment you hold your baby in your arms for the first time, no, when you hear his or her first cry, that's what you feel – simply fulfilling and worth it."
Nana's words strongly resonated with her and in an instant, her mind cleared like a thick fog slowly disappearing.
"I see…but what if your child makes you feel helpless?"
Nana smiled and shook her head. "Never. It's not the child that makes you feel helpless. It's your wavering heart. A woman becomes stronger and tougher when she becomes a mother, not weak and helpless. Regardless of the circumstances, it up to the mother if she thinks of her child as the light of her life or a source of despair."
The woman slowly handed Jun back to her Nana. She smiled, and Nana felt that it was the first time that she had smiled so freely. "Thank you so much. Really…Thank you very, very much."
Nana nodded.
The woman suddenly felt a gust of chilly air from behind her back.
She turned and saw Jinhai coldly looking at her.
"Who are you?"
Nana smiled. "Jinhai!"
He gently nodded at her.
The woman quickly got up. "Hello, Mr. Liu. I-I was just passing by…"He narrowed his eyes. "You are Mrs. Han."
"Yes."
It finally clicked, Nana. "Oh! You are the daughter-in-law of the Han family."
"En."
She quickly said, "I will leave now. Sorry for taking up so much of your time."
"Don't be. I enjoyed your company."
"Baaaaaaaa…" Jun giggled and waved at her.
Nana chuckled. "And so did he."
She softly smiled and waved back. Then she bowed and left, but Nana asked, "Oh, I am sorry. I didn't catch your name."
"Xinyi. My name is Han Xinyi."
Nana smiled. "It was nice to meet you, Han Xinyi. I hope we meet again."
"Same here."
She left her ward and thought as she shut her eyes.
Thank you, Nana. You have no idea how much Jun and your words have saved me today. No, not just me…
The doctor asked as she went inside, "Oh, Mrs. Han. I was wondering where you were. The preparations are done."
She said, "Doctor I…I have changed my mind. I want to keep my child. I apologize for the trouble."
The doctor was surprised, but then she smiled. "That's great, Mrs. Han. I am happy you changed your decision. Don't bother about the trouble."
She nodded. "Thank you so much."
Han Xinyi smiled as she touched her belly. "Sorry. I will never think of doing this again. So please, just forgive me this time. Mama will never give up on you because…you are the light of my life, not my despair."
As she left the hospital's premises, her phone buzzed. She stopped.
"Xinyi."
A gentle voice came from the other end. "Where are you? You seemed a little sick this morning, so called to check on you."
"I…Nothing. I am fine. I want to tell you something important, Zhiyuan."
"Sure. I will reach home in an hour."
"En."
Han Xinyi smiled as she looked up at the blue sky.
"Thank you, God. I asked for somebody to save me today from making me do something that I might regret forever, and you really did send someone. You sent two angels to me. Thank you so much."
She sat in her car and went off.
Unknown to her, another car who was following her called a number. "Old Master Han."
"Did she do it?"
"No, Old Master. She didn't go through the abortion."
There was a pause.
On the other side, an older man in his sixties with slightly grey hair put his glass down as he heard the news. His expression was unreadable, and his gaze, undecipherable. "I see. Come back."
"Yes, Old Master."
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AUTHOR'S MESSAGE (IMPORTANT)
So, this was a sneak peek of my upcoming novel in the series. You have already learned our next lead's name hehe~~ I hope you liked this teaser, and I promise to take you on yet another awesome roller coaster ride, hoho!
Please do check out my new novel and add it to your library ^^ I will publish the first four chapters on 1st Feb.
Title – Because I Cannot Hurt You.
Please do join my all new discord server here to have loads of fun!
https://discord.gg/CbhNys444r
This is not goodbye so let's meet again on our next journey!