No Perfect Child
"Baba didn't send me back because he didn't want to keep me?" asked Xiang Wai with a complicated look in her eyes.
Xiang Weimin gave her a hard stare and smacked her head, "How many times have I told you not to take others' words seriously? I told you to talk to me about everything before overthinking. Who told you that Dad didn't want you?"
"They all said I was a fool. What's the point of running when I eventually had to come back because even my own father didn't want me? I also thought he didn't want me," Xiang Wai looked aggrieved when she spoke of it.
Xiang Weimin shook his head at her, "Dad didn't want to send you back at all. Mom assured him that nothing would happen to you. She also said she'd make sure no one bullies you too. Dad only relented when Mom promised to let you spend summer and winter vacations with me. Dad didn't even know what happened back then but the fact that you called him so late at night for help was enough to make him go mad. It took a lot of time for them to reach a middle ground." magic
Xiang Wai recalled those days and realized that it was indeed true. People did stop bullying her in that family after she went back. They used words to annoy her but nothing harmful was done. But she thought they got scared of what she did before running. It seemed that wasn't entirely the case. She doesn't even know what her mother did, just like she didn't know what her father did for her.
"You all have communication issues," said Raelle. "Your life would have been a lot better if you all had just taken some time to sit down and talk about everything."
Xiang Wai lowered her head and nodded, "Right. I wouldn't have grown up thinking no one cared about me. It seems I really wronged Mom and Dad over the years. They weren't as careless with me as I thought. They did care, I just never understood it." "No parents are perfect," said Hyson. "Just like that, no child is perfect too. You didn't understand them, they also weren't able to understand you. We all learn slowly. Isn't it enough that you learned about it all now."
"But I always found ways to hurt them both with my words."
"Since they didn't really say anything about it, that means they were very tolerant of you. And maybe, deep down they also thought that they had wronged you so they deserved the hurt you gave them."
Xiang Wai looked at Hyson and said, "Why are you so good at this?"
"Do I look a perfect son to you?"
"You do," said Xiang Wai. "You have such a beautiful bond with Aunt Yue."
"It wasn't exactly always like that," said Hyson. "I also had times when I resented her very much. You had a father's name attached to you and yet you're called a fatherless child. I didn't have one. What do you think I was called?"
Xiang Wai opened her mouth but no words came out. 10:34
"But that wasn't why I resented my Mum. Mostly, I did it because from a very young age, I realized that I wasn't as important as the father I don't know about. Clearly, she loved that man who wasn't with her more than she loved me. There were times she'd even forget all about me. Slowly, it started changing. I only figured out why that was so later on when I realized that my face resembled that man. This realization wasn't a good experience. So, I had a time when I yelled at my Mum. But seeing her crying, I hated myself more." He patted her shoulder, "Don't be so hard on yourself. We don't become perfect children out of nowhere. I became one because I realized I never wanted to see my Mum cry ever again. I really hated that feeling of helplessness. So, I became whatever she wanted me to be just to keep her happy." "Fai is right," said Shui Xian. "We all have done something to hurt our parents. I had a good relationship with my mother but I hurt her a lot too when I insisted on going against her wishes. As for Bà, I can't even tell you how much I hurt him over the years. It was only after Mom's death that our relationship became what it is today."
Raelle really couldn't join in this conversation. All of them shared their experience with their parents and she really couldn't join in. She looked at Justin and said, "Justin, how about the two of us go to bed? We can't join this conversation anyway."
"But I also have something to share," said Justin while yawning. "I also hurt Mom last time. She told me to wear warm clothes before making the snowman but I didn't listen. Then I fell ill. She scolded me and also cried seeing me. I was very ashamed to see that I hurt her."
Raelle rubbed her nose, "I should just go and sleep."
Seeing her really going back to her tent, the rest of them shared a look and laughed out. They didn't even realize that Raelle was feeling left out because of their conversation since she had nothing to say. "We really left out Raelle," said Shui Xian.
"Don't worry. She won't be feeling bad. Let her go to sleep first," said Hyson.
"I'm gonna put Justin to sleep and then I'll come out."
"Ge, bring me some coffee too," said Xiang Wai. "Then she turned to the other two but settled on Shui Xian. "Brother-in-law, you have some experience to share?"
"Not a personal one but I have heard a few folklores."
"Tell me," said Xiang Wai eagerly waiting for him to talk.
"Okay, it's the story of Xianmen ruins in Xi desert. They say there is a paradise hiding underneath the desert and a lot of people went in search of that paradise. We are gonna talk about one of those people..."
There are always some crazy stories when you're sitting around the bonfire with a group of friends. And then those stories lead to other things and we end up talking about all sorts of things. That's what happened here too.