Keith's POV

"I don't have time for this, Rufus." Keith pushed up his glasses and tried to wave away his Demon General and closest friend. "Ria is going to be back tomorrow!"

"You ordered your own sessions," Rufus said, not budging from his relaxed stance in front of Keith's desk. "With a special Enchanted Scroll signed in blood. You aren't allowed to skip them unless I say so."

"But I'm fine." Keith insisted. "The paperwork is more important right now."

"Are you fine?" Rufus leaned over Keith's desk and stared him in the eye. "Or do you need relationship advice because you've never experienced a relationship before? And don't try to convince me you aren't interested in the princess. You gave her the QUEEN'S ROOMS."

"She's a visiting royal princess! They were the only fancy rooms we had." Keith protested. It was the truth.

"And now that she lives here?"

"..." Keith said nothing. He couldn't say that he disliked the idea of her being there. Or that he didn't want to disturb her and make her move out. He also didn't want to say that the head maid had reported to him how much Ria loved her rooms or how happy he was that she was happy.

Also, it was nice that Ria wasn't stuck wearing adventuring travel wear all day. Though it would be nice to buy her something new…

Keith came back to the conversation and argued, "Still, I don't need relationship ad–"

"You wouldn't cast a spell without research," Rufus cut him off, "or file these reports without understanding the math - and don't say you could do it. We both know Chloe is the only child genius. You would make a mess of Nilheim's reports without those algebra lessons."

Feliwyn's strict teaching wasn't just relegated to Keith. She had kidnapped many lost souls while she was in charge of the castle and taught them reading and writing and arithmetic. It had irritated her that there were beings in the kingdom that couldn't read and appreciate her popular line of published romance novels.

"But–"

"No buts. I'll start the session here in front of your aides, or we can move somewhere more private." Rufus said. "You have so much to learn; the five love languages, the motivation wheel, interpersonal communication basics, and we can't forget conflict resolution."

Keith looked down at his mostly cleared desk and back up at the passionate beastman, then he sighed dramatically. "Fine! But you only get ONE hour."

"As you wish, My King." Rufus smiled. The two men repaired to a private room… and they were most certainly in there for longer than one hour.

…

Keith sat at a late dinner mulling over the difference between physical gifts and the gift-of-self as a display of affection, when the shy lizardkin maid Winrith shuffled into the room.

Winrith was the nervous sort and shook violently in his presence. Keith always tried to speak gently to the woman but usually simple and direct worked best.

"Yes?"

"Y-your V-viciousnesss." She curtsied awkwardly and almost dropped something. She fumbled a bit and then held out a sheet of paper. "F-for you."

Keith moved slowly to take it. "Very good, thank you Winrith. You may go."

She left and Keith read over the latest from the Castle Cast Crystal.

Hello, this is Madame Potts.

This Week's Events are in!

The Griffins in Baldor's Peak have had three eggs stolen by poachers and will start attacking the nearby dwarven outposts by week's end. Find and return the eggs before the Spring Equinox or else.

Thank you to the Servalt Authorities for dealing with everything in a timely manner. I really appreciate you.

Orion's Camp in the Grey Oak Hills has been overrun by Bandit Bill and Jane. Be careful, Jane is an expert at long ranged weapons, and her husband is a proficient area-of-effect spell caster. Rogue and stealth types recommended.

The Arachne will be awakening right before the Spring Ball. While new silks won't be ready anytime soon, Their Royal Highness Rowen of Peldeep has just received 36 bolts of pink arachne silk. This caster has it on the in that They’ve earmarked a few rolls of silk as a prize for the Peldeep St Veralyn's Craft Fair.

Former Princess Henrietta of Drendil, Duke Wyldon of Servalt, Master Thomas Martin of Servalt, Knight Commander Bastian of Peldeep and Countess Julia von Slyke of North Sumbria are all making their first appearances in society at this year’s Spring Ball. Let's hope no one is foolish enough to try poisoning someone this year … but please prepare your antidotes all the same.

This seer wants to let King Simon know that isn't a good idea. But also, it might be fate, and you will most certainly get what you deserve. Hmmm, I am messing up this telling… oh well.

Moving along, anyone visiting Hemlock Hill can touch the Elder Hemlock Tree and gain a temporary +4 to any stat. This is stackable with other buffs. The effect lasts longer based on the Elder Hemlock Tree’s favourability towards you.

Anyone looking for Cornflower Dew, there is a higher drop rate in Dungeon Valley Crest this week.

This is Madame Potts, signing off

Keith didn't usually care about Madame Potts’ Cast, even when it was about him. Everyone already knew how powerful he was, and his decrees were posted publicly. If he did do something noteworthy (like turning water into sheep's blood at a birthday party) then he usually had a good reason and didn’t care if everyone talked about it.

And he already knew King Simon's movements and nothing Madame Potts said was likely to alter his plans.

But he did care that Henrietta's name was in the weekly events. What was going to happen this year that people needed to start carrying around antidotes? Who told the future like this?! There should be details.

He was pretty certain any erstwhile poisoner wasn't going to be "Let's fight outside because it's rude to destroy people's property" Henrietta.

Which meant that Keith was going to need to pack ready-made antidotes, and send out spies to learn about the others mentioned alongside Ria.

Keith finished up his dinner of haggis with mashed potatoes and gravy. It was a new dish that was very popular among the beastfolk. After sending his regards to Panlith, he decided to swing by his personal apothecary.

He would, of course, pack his own poisons. You never knew when someone needed laxative in their tea.