Chapter 59   - Back at the Estate

Kai was walking the paved path to the estate when Elijah appeared in front of him, blocking the way, an impenetrable expression on his face.

Does he know what I have done?

Making use of Acting, Kai tried to behave casually. Nothing was wrong. He smirked at the pale man. “Did you miss me?”

There was no answer. Elijah remained motionless. Kai didn’t think walking around him was an option, so he was forced to stop. His confidence quickly crumbled as the icy blue eyes stared straight at him. At that moment Kai understood there was no point in lying or feigning ignorance. He didn’t know how, but Elijah knew the truth already.

“I’m sorry…” Kai muttered. With his mood already beneath his feet, his mind immediately went to the worst-case scenario. Were they going to throw him out?

“For what?” Elijah looked at him questioning.

Did I just rat myself out? No, if that were the case, he wouldn’t have admitted he didn’t know what I was talking about.

Kai looked back at him. His thoughts were a wreck, he didn’t have the strength to put up with Elijah’s shenanigans. Did he have to say it out loud? What did he want from him?

Maybe Elijah might have a heart hidden somewhere. After a couple more seconds of stalemate, he was the one to break the silence.

“What you do outside this estate is your business. That is unless you bring it here.” His gaze bore down on him. “You didn’t get caught, right?”

Was that what he wanted to know? Not why he did it or if he regretted his actions, but if he would get caught or not!?

After all the exhaustion and doubts Kai had dealt with the last few days, he started laughing aloud at the absurdity of the situation. It was an empty laugh, devoid of any amusement. His eyes started to tingle, he felt he would start crying if he didn’t get a grip on himself.

“Still waiting for an answer. Did you become deaf while you were away?” Elijah's icy tone cut into his thoughts.

Blinking rapidly and rubbing his eyes, as if the wind had pushed some dust into them, Kai forced his body to regain his composure. He was not going to have a breakdown in front of this jerk.

“No, I don’t think anyone will come looking for me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I got a Feat that explicitly said ‘without getting caught’.”

Now that he thought about it, did that mean he was in the clear? The Assassination skill also mentioned not getting caught…

“Good. That means no one saw you and there are no obvious leads, but you shouldn’t rely on it too much. The Guide offers no insurance on long-term consequences or unexpected events.”

“Good to know, now can I pass?” Kai asked pointing out he was still standing in the way.

Elijah didn’t show any intention to move. “Stop sulking like a baby. If you want to keep climbing higher, it won’t be the last time you have to get your hands dirty. This time you only had to kill a wretched individual who well deserved it. No use losing sleep over him.”

Kai guessed this was Elijah’s own way to ‘comfort’ him. He appreciated the effort, but his words weren’t very helpful.

He had read enough to know Elydes could be a cruel and violent place. Even on Earth, humans had warred against each other for far longer than they had been at peace. Fighting and killing had been the norm for most of history. With the superhuman powers the Guide granted, and multiple races thrown into the mix, anyone could imagine things would only be worse. However, there was a big difference between reading it in a book and living it.

Elijah rolled his eyes. “Even if you hide under a rock, there will come a time when you must choose between protecting what you hold dear and taking someone else’s life. That's just how the world rolls. No one ever managed to change it and idealistic fools die young.”

Kai tried to give him a nod. His words were only making him feel worse.

He really sucks at this.

The pale man seemed conflicted before he sighed exasperated. “If you really want the ability to avoid those kinds of situations you should train harder. You’d need more than your pitiful strength. The freedom of choice is a privilege afforded only to the people with enough power.” Elijah shook his head and turned around. “You got enough holidays. I hope you didn’t skirt on your exercises, or you won’t be able to keep up. Tomorrow we’ll start at dawn. Go get settled in now.”

With that, he was gone. Kai was left standing there alone, speechless and confused.

Lost in his thoughts, he started walking around the main property to reach his little house. The subtle tingle of mana washed over him. His body welcomed the higher mana density. It was hard to describe, but it was as if he hadn’t taken a true breath since he left.

The place was exactly as he remembered it. The white and warm tones of the buildings were as immaculate as the day he first saw them. The wind carried the sweet scent of flowers in bloom mixing with the subtle smell of the sea.

Stepping beyond the mansion, he was welcomed by a long ivory beach, crystal clear water and the pavilion where Virya liked to have her breakfast. The mistress of the estate was nowhere to be seen, but Kai didn’t doubt for a second she knew everything already. She would call for him when she so desired.

The annex building that served as his lodgings was as he left it. Stepping inside Kai laid his backpack down, unsure of what to do. Checking his bedroom there was not a hint of dust on any surface.

He was about to jump in his bed but stopped himself at the last second. His clothes were filthy from the journey and he stank. He didn’t want to tarnish the pristine sheets and pillow. He considered the pros and cons of flopping on the ground right there and taking a nap. Everything would be better after some sleep. Then he remembered there was one more room left, his favorite - the bathroom.

With a spring in his step, Kai got out of his clothes and jumped into the bathtub. With the flick of a lever, a jet of water started pouring on top of his skin. He didn’t have to go fetch a bucket and use a wet cloth to clean himself. He didn’t have to do anything at all. He let out a sigh of contentment.

This is a true luxury.

The water was cold, but Kai didn’t mind, he reveled in it. Words couldn’t describe how much he missed this. After most of the dirt and grime were washed away, he put in the plug to start filling the tub. It would probably be awkward to fit in there if he were an adult, but for his small figure, it was perfect. He could almost stretch his legs completely.

Kai laid still as the water level rose, unconsciously falling into a meditative state. He didn’t want to think, only enjoy the moment before he had to face his demons once again.

The water reached his ears and then over his head. He didn’t move a muscle. Keeping his breath for a few minutes wasn’t even a bother anymore. His eyes closed and his body relaxed, weightless and peaceful.

It’s going to be fine. It’s going to be fine. It’s going to be fine.

When he reopened his eyes, the bathtub was about to overflow. He hurried to turn off the water, spilling a small wave on the floor. Standing up to lower the water level, Kai took out the plug and started scrubbing his body with a rough piece of soap.

After he was cleaner than he had ever been in the last two months, he donned one of his remaining pairs of clothes and let himself fall on his bed. His head sank into the puffy pillow. The sensation of cleanliness was another one of the things he missed. If only he could scrub away his problems too. After twenty minutes it became clear sleep wasn’t coming. Intrusive thoughts broke his peace every time he was about to drift off.

Enough moping around.

Tossing and turning in bed would only lead him to darker places. With nothing better to do, he started unpacking. A few leftover rations, clothes that needed a good wash, the volumes from his father's collection he decided to bring and the alchemy chest. He should probably give that back to Dora.

It would be nice to have the cheerful alchemist around again.

What is she going to think about me? If Elijah knows, she must too…

It wasn’t very surprising that the annoying butler didn’t seem to care at all he killed a person. Kai had kind of expected that. Dora was different. Would she watch him with disappointment, or worse, disgust?

He tried to find himself busy putting things in order, arranging the books he brought on a shelf over his bed and washing his clothing. Eventually, the alchemy chest was the only thing that remained.

I’ll need to say hi to her…

His worst-case scenarios were unlikely, probably she would not say anything. What he feared was that she would not look at him the same and treat him differently. He could maybe postpone it to tomorrow, but it wouldn’t change anything.

There were still a few hours of light. He could hide in his house for today, but then what? Better to rip the band-aid off than stew in his thoughts.

He hesitantly walked across the beach towards her house. With each step his heart beat faster, his guts wrenched and his palms started sweating. If he wasn’t carrying the alchemy chest, his hands might have started shaking too.

The lush garden appeared around him, but he could not appreciate its beauty. His eyes scanned back and forth looking for the familiar figure of the plump woman.

“In here.” Unsurprisingly, she was the first to notice him, her voice was coming from inside.

Too late to back down now.

Following the sound of her voice, Kai reached the kitchen. Dora was busy stirring a pot, giving him her shoulders. Before he could say a word, she turned around with a plate filled with steaming food.

“Put that down and sit.” She smiled brightly. “You must be famished after your journey.”

Kai put down the chest and sat at the table. The pile of food in front of him smelled delicious, but he felt no appetite. He could feel Dora’s gaze on him, but he couldn’t bear to look back.

Using Acting as a crutch, he took the fork and tried to swallow a few bites.

“Have you already eaten? Or would you like me to prepare something else?”

Slowly raising his eyes, Dora looked at him with a worried expression. Kai wanted to tell her he was doing okay, but the words seemed stuck in his throat. He tried to push it down, but his body betrayed him. Big tears started streaming down his eyes.

“Oh, dear…” Dora said, stepping closer to him. “Everything is going to be fine.”

Before he could stop himself, Kai was crying on her shoulder. As she tried to comfort him, he felt so pathetic.

“You did the right thing, sweetheart. Sometimes we don’t have a choice if we want to protect the people we love.”

He didn’t know if she was saying it only to make him feel better, or if she truly believed it.

After he had shed all his tears, Kai managed to calm down, finally feeling a bit better. The food had gotten cold, but he quickly realized how hungry he truly was, eating every bit.

He had not missed how Dora seemed to know exactly what happened. He was curious, but he did not wish to bring that topic up. They instead started talking about alchemy. In moments they fell into a deep discussion. Kai took out his notebooks and started explaining all he had learned and experimented with during his stay in Greenside.

It was the perfect distraction. He had written down dozens of questions and it was incredibly nice finally having someone to solve dilemmas that had frustrated him for weeks. After a while, they moved to the lab, so Dora could show him directly how to solve some problems. Kai enjoyed all the praise he received for his progress in Alchemy. He didn’t get many points in Mana Manipulation, but his improvements were still noteworthy.

Only after the sun had already set for a while, did he leave Dora’s house with his stomach full and a lighter heart. Dark thoughts still hovered in the back of his mind, but not everything looked gloomy any longer.

He couldn’t wait to jump back into his training and get some of the answers he had wanted for so long. This time he fell asleep as soon as his head touched the pillow.

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End of Book 1